post 1000

neti pot world championships

thank you to my brother johnnie for showing this to me. you used to be little and dumb; you're not so little anymore!

questions:

is this real?

is this challenging?

is this my calling?

every dog has her day

yesterday was my turn. and it was a DOOZY!!! i cannot remember the last time i had a day with so many ups and downs. let's begin at the beginning, shall we? it was a foggy Monday morning in San Francisco...

woke up to a parking ticket on the car. strike 1. goodbye $55.

running late to get the oil changed. got pulled over by the meanest cop in the world. strike 2.

mean cop didn't give me a ticket! not because he decided to be nice, but because he ran out of citation forms. how embarrassing. bonus 1.

got tickets to a sold out show from a super nice, helpful lady! bonus 2.

went back to get an additional ticket. helpful lady has been replaced by a giant asshole who talks to me like i'm an idiot and is generally the rudest person i've met. more rude than the mean cop even! strike 3. but i'm not out. yet.

get an additional ticket from jerk. bonus 3.

find out said jerk is kelley stoltz. this is neither a strike nor a bonus, just an interesting tidbit. i think he was having a rough day too, maybe.

have a great dinner with friends, go to one of the best shows of my entire life. legendary stuff. smile. laugh. dance. general good feelings. bonus 4!

leave show to find that my bike tires have been stolen. ooh this one hurts. strikes 4 & 5 (one for each tire).

get love and support from my kind friends. and a ride home (thanks ben). bonus 5.

arrive home to find that sawyer's legs fell off. JK

decide that for whatever reason, it was my turn. laugh about it. go to bed.

the end.

ratking

this week i learned

how to catch fruit flies:

put rotten fruit with a little balsamic in the bottom of a jar

make a cone of paper

put it in the jar

(make sure it is tight or else the flies will climb out the top)

how to play music you didn't know you had:

use iTunes DJ

or

Genius playlist

how to turn a shirt into something different:

how to make the best salad dressing in the world:

4 tbsp lemon juice

2 tbsp olive oil

2 cloves garlic, pressed

dash of red wine vinegar

dried basil, thyme, oregano, tarragon

S + P

(adapted from this recipe)

how to make yourself feel sick:

eat too much for dinner

then

eat dairy ice cream by accident

how to make google chrome look nice:

change the theme!

(Preferences>Personal Stuff>Themes)

sand x 250

babe alert

annie clark interviewed by julie klausner for SPIN

things today

things eaten today:

soy yogurt

blueberries

granola

soy latte

potato chips

kidney beans

things seen today:

man driving car while wearing latex gloves

man with pink hair and face tattoos sadly raking leaves

gnomo girdles

jane marie

ugh. time to come clean. i am so in love with this woman it is outrageous. i just watched this TEN MINUTE VIDEO on how to look like Elizabeth Taylor. i am never ever in a million years going to do any of the things shown in this video, i just watched it for the sheer joy of jane marie. she is so smart and beautiful and good at being both and it makes me actually sad that we will never be friends. also she makes me want to wear a zillion pounds of makeup. ladies, get on this. you will never be the same.

How to Be a Girl, with Jane Marie: Elizabeth Taylor from The Hairpin on Vimeo.

ooohyummmyyy

i CANNOT stop eating these little treats...

no-bake vegan peanut butter chocolate chip balls

combine:

1/2 cup peanut butter or any nut butter

3-4 tbsp flour OR use protein powder

3-4 tbsp honey or any sweetener (maple syrup, agave)

1 tsp vanilla extract

stir it up! if it's too wet, add a little more flour. if it's too dry, add more sweet stuff.

when you're ready...

add a handful of carob or dark chocolate chips

stir some more

shape into balls and put in fridge

peanut butter-honey-chocolate

a winning combination

perfect little protein snack for vegans and non-vegans alike

enjoy from the comfort of your own home

easy, breezy, beautiful balls!

fortunately/unfortunately

so many things have already happened this morning!

fortunately, i got up early to run.

unfortunately, i stepped in a pile of dog barf.

fortunately, my run was fun!

unfortunately, i got stung by a bee.

fortunately, i took a shower!

unfortunately, my patchouli soap makes me smell like patchouli.

fortunately, i ate breakfast!

unfortunately, i'm still hungry.

cutie patootie

can't fake a smile like that! oh happy boy, when will you grace us with your light?

dear faye dunaway

what was it like to have breakfast by the pool and read the paper and wear heels with your bathrobe and win an oscar

listen to this song

and then listen to it again.

you're welcome!

happy friday!

good morning!

where is the sun?

i love trash, see

i don't think this is really funny but i'm tired and it put me in kind of a trance that felt nice

must learn

how to dance like this

yum yummy!

i know, i know, recipes are boring, who cares, enough already- BUT. believe me when i tell you. this is a good one!

corn/tomato salad aka yum yummy

ingredients:

olive oil duh

3-4 nude ears of corn

handful of diced onion (optional, obviously)

3-4 tomatoes, chopped or pint of cherry tomatoes, halved

bunch of basil

arugula or other greens

mustard

S & P duh

how to:

cut the corn off the cob

heat oil in pan, add corn + onion

cook on high heat for 3-5 minutes, until browned

add tomatoes, cook for 30 more seconds

remove from heat

combine a little oil with about 1 tbsp dijon mustard, 1/4 cup chopped basil, S & P

put corn/tomato/dressing in a bowl with arugula

stir it up!

yum yummy!!!!!!!!!

omg happy july

wiley took my camera

and

i can't blog from my stupid idiot phone

so

it is what it is

my family > your family

we will rock you

rorschach test

working at a coffee shop. the people next to me are studying how to evaluate reactions to rorschach tests. it's pretty fascinating/distracting. also the dude's cologne is SO strong. fascinating/nauseating. really, though, who knew that rorschach tests still happen?

BSE: Best Smoothie EVER

i got this chocolate hazelnut milk a while ago and just cracked it open...

let me tell you, it is divine! DIVINE I TELL YOU!

Bon Iver - I Can't Make You Love Me (Bonnie Raitt cover)

this is what a wedding looks like

apologies in advance

i just blacked out and signed up to run a half-marathon in october. training begins next friday. i have 100 days to raise $500. please help! if you are unfortunate enough to be a close friend of mine or related to me, you will also be receiving emails, phone calls, snail mail, tweets, beeps, and whistles about this. basically, the sooner you can give a little $$, the sooner you will be left in peace. oh by the way, the money goes to PETA. and yes, i am officially a member of the PETA Pack. i guess it's like a wolf pack but for other animals besides just wolves.

if you hate PETA, do it for me! and if you hate me, do it for sawyer! if you hate sawyer, you have a lot of thinking and self-reflection to do! thanks and good luck!

swoon

i must confess that i am very very bored and i need to shoot some baskets

Upright Citizens Brigade
Bug Juice
www.comedycentral.com
Comedy Central TV Shows Comedy Videos

sally mann

SF summer

getting old

is not tight

love this little story about my college! read it, it's short.

tgif amiright

oh my my

i'm working at a coffee shop. it smells like weed. a man with a bird on his shoulder just walked in. he tried to take a picture of his bird sitting on a dog's back. then a man in a green alien suit came in. he had a green mask covering his face and a straw hat on. there are four boar's heads on the wall. one of the boars is wearing purple john lennon sunglasses. please pray for me.

A Family Portrait from Joseph Pierce on Vimeo.

dear blog