love

my one-eyed boys

happy thanksgiving

"It’s Thanksgiving week, and millions of American families are talking turkey as they prepare for their holiday meals. But they probably haven’t thought much about how 250 million American turkeys get from farm to table each year...

These birds are typically shackled and hung upside down, paralyzed by electrified water, and dragged over mechanical throat-cutting blades— all while conscious. Many birds each year miss the blades and drown in tanks of scalding water.

Slaughtering conscious birds is not only inhumane, but also presents serious risks for food safety and slaughterhouse workers who handle the flailing animals."



enjoy your turkey jerks.

ARSENIII VASELENKO

scheming

allllright. since everyone basically stomped all over my brilliant egg-laying idea, i have come up with a new money-making scheme. well, not quite. i need a little help. here is the basic idea:

i eat a lot of yogurt. this means that i throw away 1 little yogurt cup per day, on average. this is an atrocity. here comes the hard part- what can i make out of these yogurt cups that i can trick people into buying? jewelry? picture frames? furniture? candles? clothing? money? ipods?



i just want to invent something and never work again.

girls can make $6000

by donating their eggs

!

not like this is news but i just heard an ad on the radio this morning and had a few thoughts:

-i didn't realize it was that much $$
-can we really put a price on life
-i want to do it!
-but not for the $$, just because i want to spread my dna all around and promote blondeness

anyway, if you are poor, sell your eggs for gosh sakes, you have like 10 trillion infinity black magic of them.* **

*don't take my word on this.
**girls only sorry wiley

my two dads

who wouldn't want to be me?

hi blog. i'd like to say that i've been busy but let's be honest. i haven't. here's what you've been missing:

last night i tried to check out a book at the library. my card was expired. the librarian renewed my card and then told me i had a $3 fine. i didn't have any money so i drove home, cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, made a quesadilla, drove back to the library, paid my fine, and settled in to read the sound and the fury. it was a nightmare. i don't recommend it.

in other news, i thought today was tuesday.

also, this:

Teachers have been condemned by parents for staging a mock break-in at a primary school which featured a pool of fake blood and a female staff member who pretended to have been assaulted.

meet me on the mountain top

today is friday the 13th you idiots

here are some facts:

-Some people are so paralyzed by fear that they avoid their normal routines in doing business, taking flights or even getting out of bed. It's been estimated that $800 or $900 million is lost in business on this day.

-Fewer accidents and reports of fire and theft occur when the 13th of the month falls on a Friday than on other Fridays, because people are preventatively more careful or just stay home.

-There are indications that there are more accidents on Fridays than average weekdays probably because of alcohol consumption.

-The actual origin of the superstition appears to be a tale in Norse mythology. Friday is named for Frigga, the free-spirited goddess of love and fertility. When Norse and Germanic tribes converted to Christianity, Frigga was banished in shame to a mountaintop and labeled a witch. It was believed that every Friday, the spiteful goddess convened a meeting with eleven other witches, plus the devil - a gathering of thirteen - and plotted ill turns of fate for the coming week.

i am shaking in my boots! meet me on the mountaintop

i know this is old news but

this picture just killed me. i couldn't stop laughing. it's so good! i'm still laughing! aahahahaahahahahaha

chris

can we have a book club? i think my brain is melting, all i do is eat pizza and bite my toenails, let's read some books ok?

let's get cultured

now that we are all healthy from eating flax seeds and drinking V8 and taking vitamins, it's time to get some action in the most important part of the body: the eyeball. robert bergman's exhibit at the national gallery looks like it has plenty of good eyeball food.

cut me in quadrants

leave me in the corner

wiley's parents met my parents last night

it looked and felt like this:

beard beads

live music

prettiest towns

cape may is on the forbes top 20 prettiest towns list

so is annapolis
so is santa fe

sorry san francisco/dc/nyc/all other towns
you ugly