report

it is now 10 am. i have not accomplished anything.

here's what i made for dinner last night,
it was really good and easy:

cook some rice, mix it with chopped tomatoes, corn, basil, oregano and cayenne (but not too much cayenne because wiley doesn't like too spicy of foods).

cut the tops off of two red peppers.

put the stuff inside but leave some room. put a layer of black beans, then cheese, then bread crumbs on top.

bake at 350 for 20 minutes.

enjoy with an episode of Lost and a can of budweiser.



sweet dreams!

report

it is now 9 am. my office-mate is eating chips and drinking soda. she reminds me of a young david audelo. jk! (not)

thanks for all of your input on scabs. i compiled your responses into a report and sent it to my boss. she was confused but she liked it a lot. for those of you who eat your scabs, maybe this is why you drink so much--to forget that you are the kind of person who enjoys eating dried blood.

here is a picture of my family from the olden days:

the demon-thing next to me is my mom. the bald man on the far left is my young brother. the gentleman in the overalls is our farmer, and the young lady next to him is his wife. no one knows who the short, knobby guy in the back is.

topic of the day

scabs.

your thoughts?


also a giant mirror broke in the house yesterday into 1 million pieces. i think that means 1 million years bad luck, but my sister margaret aka mog told me to just put a bowl of milk outside the house with a lucky stone in it and then no harm will come. but it can't be soy milk, it has to be regular milk. she's so wise!!!!!

sorry

no more blogging for me. too busy. look like this now:

have a great summer everyone!

so yellow

phew! my pee was sooooooo fucking yellow i thought i was dead. but then i remembered that i am actually super healthy and taking vitamin B and that is why.

the end.

thank you!

good night.

look!

at these pictures i found of billy and morgan!


wait, one of them might be julie and danny. or one might be me and wiley. or ben and wiley. and me and billy and morgan.

????

you guys

should we be buying horses?

quote of the day?

gmail told me this morning that this is the quote of the day:

"Youth has no age." -Pablo Picasso


i don't get it.

in other news, here are pictures of my friend laura's new puppy. his name is simba.

anyone interested in assisting with a kidnapping, let me know. i want him!

punishment

i was making fun of my co-worker the other day because someone brought in a chocolate bunny and she immediately tore its ears off and stuffed them in her face. but now, (this is the punishment part), i can't stop thinking about this damn bunny that is sitting right outside my office!!! i don't know what to do. i can't accomplish anything. maybe i'll just go home early.



side note- why are chocolate bunnys so creepy? is it to make you want to eat them so that they go away??

well i'm terrified

i'll be honest, i don't read the newspaper much. mostly i stick to the style section, do the crossword and read my horoscope. there's usually nothing too scary there, just light-hearted, fun filled articles and activities. but today, there was this article which is basically so so super scary you aren't going to believe it.

here's a preview:
"Your brain's electrical activity is translated into a signal understood by a little computer that controls a fan that blows the ball up the tube. "

basically its some jedi mind control shit toy for kids, which is so awesome and seriously terrifying.
i really really want one!

hold on to your butts

www.baconnaise.com

this

is

real

!

whaaaaaaaat

Alexandria Parking Meter Repairman Accused of Stealing $170,000 in Coins

!!!!!!!

that's insane.

but this is more insane: he was getting paid $57,800 a year.

happy earth day

today is earth day. it's actually a pretty important day when you think about it. there is nothing we need more than the earth. here are some things i try to do for the earth:

1) i started a compost pile. you should too! it's fun and makes you feel good.



i think that's all.

2) i guess being vegetarian is good for the earth too.
here's a fact:
More than 1/3 of all fossil fuels produced in the United States go towards animal agriculture.
even if you only try to eat less meat, like 3 days a week instead of 5, it's really good for the earth.

3) carpool. i'm pretty jelly of you city kids who don't need cars, but i try not to drive a lot. i just make wiley drive because his mom pays for his gas. !

4) i brush my teeth with my finger instead of a toothbrush. just kidding. how would that help anyone anyway silly?

5) i use to-go mugs. this is a big one. you should really invest in at least one good to-go mug.

6) sometimes i don't flush the toilet.

7) i don't shower every day. for some people, this might be more difficult/an impossibility, but fortunately my sedentary lifestyle means that i don't really get very dirty. (julie i know you're down with this one)

8) i also don't wash my clothes after every wear. see #7. laziness is cleanliness i guess.

9) i make my lunch everyday. does that count for anything?

10) mostly i think if you just do what the hippies do or maybe pretend you are on the oregon trail instead of in the 21st century, you will do great!

annie has dysentery.
annie has died.

: (

this morning

i made waffles for breakfast.

has everyone already seen these?

there are so many and they are all so super good:

every day is ice cream and chocolate cake

it's thursday

and things are really looking up. i took care of my taxes in a jiff, don't you worry. wiley got me a soy latte this morning. it's really sunny and nice out. And my boss is out for the rest of the week so basically-

it's party time.

i am PISSED

not only did i waste my life filing taxes last night and paying money to the government (did you know you have to pay MD tax and local MoCo tax? not fun.) but i just got a nice little email saying that my shit was REJECTED. now i have to call the IRS and get some info before i can waste even MORE of my life on this bogus baloney.

in other news, amanda really gave me blueballs with her non-blog. thanks a lot, amanda.

it is raining so hard right now.

wiley, can we get a pig?

what is love??

important

1) girl crush: bat for lashes. wiley has been making me listen to this album and it is realllly good. do yourself a favor and just make yourself listen to it.

2) real world road rules challenge: the duel. SO good. just watch it.

3) budweiser. i'm into it. for a while i was only drinking bud light but bud heavy is damn good. just try one.

if you do all these three things i guarantee a significant, immediate improvement to your life. not that your life needs improving but i'm just saying....

daily delights

-for breakfast this morning i scrambled an egg in the microwave.

-i just saw a fancy woman in the cafe downstairs pouring herself a drink: 1/2 Monster, 1/2 vitamin water.
i think she's probably on to something

-also, this:

happy friday!

good morrow!

today i eat granola bar, it falls into my bellybutton.

this is what i look like now:

wiley

when i'm at work

i have to use a key to get into the bathroom.
why does this make me so MAD????????????

here is a turtle that is smaller than a raspberry.


why does This make me so GLAD!!!!!!!!!!

monday review

yesterday was a special day. mostly i hated it but then it got really good. i watched some coyote ugly-

it's really bad, i don't recommend it, it probably made my bad mood worse. i pouted a lot, then i ate a black bean enchilada-

it's really good, i recommend it, it improved my sour patch mood. wiley said i had to go see brian jonestown massacre with him,

i was pretty against it, but he is a violent angry man so i thought it was best to do what he said. i got a vodka-red bull because i was so tired but it wasn't red bull, it was roaring lion.

it pepped me right up. needless to say, the concert was outstanding. there were 8 people on stage, smoking, chugging champagne, beer and whiskey, and singing their little hearts out. basically the moral of the story is- go see brian jonestown. they're really good. thanks. also watch Dig. thanks.

i'm such a loser

i'm eating pretzels like losers do

and they keep falling down my shirt

now my bellybutton is full of salt

like a loser

alissa wins

somehow alissa already posted the best craziest things ever.

here they are:
thing 1: kanye west
thing 2: this movie looks AMAZING

just read her blog in general. she's really good at blogging.

overheard at lunch

"i don't like my chin"
-bearded man

this is what wiley does every morning when he wakes up