???

"At the core of NASA's future space exploration is a return to the moon, where we will build a sustainable long term human presence. As the space shuttle approaches retirement and the International Space Station nears completion, NASA is building the next fleet of vehicles to bring astronauts back to the moon, and possibly to Mars and beyond."

-Brian Middleton

jk brian didn't really say that but for real this is insane!
who wants to go to mars with me??

conveniently

my desk is right next to the "kitchen" (because i eat so much)

the fridge/freezer are broken

every time someone opens the fridge or freezer, it smells like the inside of danny's dreadlocks

how am i supposed to get any work done in these conditions??

nipples/dump truck

NEWSFLASH: this is important

so is this

it's important to listen to the radio on the way to work, otherwise you might miss out on life.

hat day

suggestion

today, monday, typically the longest day of anyone's life, it might help to think about things this way:

i have been at work for 2 hours now. i just have to do the same thing 3 more times, then i can go home

i'm not actually sure if this helps or hurts, but i'm hoping that breaking the day into little manageable 2 hour chunks will enable me to last without too permanent of damage such as 10 pens in my eyes and face.

i need a weekend

after my weekend!!!!!!!!!!!

when i looked in the mirror this morning:

yikes!!

it was ok though, wiley had just glued his picture on the mirror as a funny humor joke.

beware

one week from today, a meeting of the minds is scheduled to take place in annapolis.

i'm a little scared, to be honest.
4th of july pool party extravaganza.
come one, come all (not you billy)

wiley might even be gone aka extra fun will be had, no rules style, eating cookies in bed and swimming right after putting on sunscreen

i

can;t

wait

don't you dare

look at this

morning news

let's start at the beginning.

saw an accident on my way home yesterday, it was crazY!

i called 911, it was awesome. i highly recommend it.

try it now. the lady was so nice/friendly.

swam laps with sawyer. he drowned.

heard about mj. drank wine with sawyer. he is such a lush.

here's the good part

popped out of bed this morning after finding myself in a living nightmare, sharing my bed with two actual monsters.

remedied the situation by making myself a champion breakfast 2 egg omelet with spinach, cheese, jalapeno, avocado, 2 glasses oj. now THAT is what i call an adult, grown-up breakfast, for a "big kid".

i'm fat : (

drove behind a pair of shit trucks all the way to work. for those of you just tuning in, a shit-truck is exactly what you think it is: a truck full of shit. manure. whathaveyou.

listened to techno all the way to work (is that even legal? don't knowdon't care

wiley told me that i looked like zach galifinakis when i was leaving for work. he is truly an angel.

something

is wrong, seriously wrong with me.
in the past two days, i

folded the laundry that was in the dryer for a week
did more laundry and put it away
did the dishes
cleaned the microwave (!?!)
got my oil changed
made cookies
painted my nails
brushed my hair
swam 20 laps
shaved my legs
read book
wore sunscreen

am i going to die?

sawyer is so big!

and wiley is so handsome

let's double up!

Bud Light/puppy


baby/baby


my dad/his beard


roman/puppy



bubblepuppy

thanks danny

adulthood

so i realized this morning, as i was driving myself to work, listening to the radio (yes, it was country, no, i'm not ashamed), drinking my latte, etc. etc. etc., that somehow i have become a grown-up! it is scary. i've been doing this whole commute/job/"real life" thing for a while now, but it really hit me today. hard. in my face. i cried. seriously, i cried. but only because i heard a song i liked about a dad and how much he loves his daughter.

ANYWAYS

then i got to work, real early, real responsibly, and skipped up the steps like an adult would do, and got to the door, and tried to open it and failed, and i remembered that i am a child and i lost my keys a while ago, including my office key, so then i cried again, and had to sit outside like a baby and wait for my mom to let me in.

thank you.

the end.

too angry to blog

this

is where capers come from

tattle

wiley ate tilapia yesterday

and salmon on saturday

he is surely burning in hell

so is billy:

basically

B.B.E.

woke up to begin the first day of my 100th year on earth to the melodious tune of sawyer puking up something solid on the bed. delightful!

thanks for all the birthday wishes/phone calls (not you julie). my phone is broken, i want to get a new one but they texted the password for my online account to my phone, which is broken. plus i don't get texts anyway.

i'm at "work" (duh) so i can't post any of my photos but let's just say that some next level shit is about to take over this blog. i can't control it! not my fault.

held a baby yesterday.

drinking an iced soy latte from my new espresso machine.

don't B 2 jelly but my life is really good.

here are some snapshots for your viewing pleasure:

jessie + dante (awwwwwwww)


me, wiley and our neighbors enjoying a quiet moment


billy+morgan


danny+julie


sterling having a nosh


adam+ben at book club meeting

well i never

sawyer hasn't really done any humping that i have seen. conveniently, my boss just stopped by to pick up something, and he decided that it was the perfect time to start. he humped the shit out of her leg. its ok, she loved it.

maybe i'm a chemist

i'm learning about plutonium for work. here are all the different colors that it can be:

punishment

now she's eating popcorn because she knows i'm blogging about her AND that i'm really really fucking hungry.

nnnnnnggggggaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhffffffffffffffuckfuckufufjfjfjfjfjfjslsdafk

breaking news

"Oh, fudge. Shows where my brain is today. I just realized my shirt is on inside out."
-Heather

i'm hungry

wiley can you please bring me this? over 1 pound of food!
so tight.

the fun part

the fun part is that i have a puppy and i get to work from home sometimes.

this is what you wear when you work from home:

(it's wiley's)

the other fun part is that sawyer is sleeping right at my feet and making really bad smells from his butt:


yesterday, he spilled my glass of wine, peed on the rug and pooped in the corner all in one hour! go sawyer!



happy wednesday nerds.

previously on lost

wiley and i were pretty excited to go see david byrne last night at wolftrap.


unfortunately, the show was on saturday.



fortunately, we went to carpaccios and dined on fine food and beverage outside in the night air.



unfortunately, i ate too much pizza.


fortunately, we bought candy and went to see The Hangover.


unfortunately, the movie was HILARY.




fortunately, i ate WAY too many swedish fish and i still feel sick and i have to eat birthday cake today at work!