q of the h

if you keep your eyes open for long enough, is it possible that they will dry out enough to shrivel up and fall out of your face?

q of the h II

do you know what to do when your eyeball falls out? i do. one time i had a dream that my eyeball fell out, and when i told my mom about it, she asked me if i put it in my mouth because apparently that's what you're supposed to do. here's the crazy part- i told my dad about the dream too, and he said the SAME thing.

i think i'm slowly realizing that this is less about eyeballs, or dreams, or anything other than the fact that my parents are seriously weird as fuck. so weird.

what a day

well basically wiley got really drunk and is dead to me. it was fun seeing the fleet foxes i thought, but now i realize that it was terrible because instead of being at the show with my fun, nice boyfriend, i was there with some sort of awful goblin/monster.

we drove home, it was really late. nope, I drove home, it was REALLy REALLy LATE and then party wiley wanted to go skinny dip with zach and gwynne. and i did too. so we drove back to bOWie and had a grand old time but now i am at work.

Party Wiley

child prodigy

play it off, keyboard sawyer!

his shoes fall off!

remember one time when jewlie buttdorf and adumb fagstem got all paranoid and now no one can ever blog freely anymore ever?

jk i love having secret friends it makes my life seem really exciting

jk i actually hate it

jk the real point is that i heard that billy is a porn star now?!??!

remember one time when ben didn't blog for a while?

good morning

Bobbie D!

Coug is boring the Shit out of me. And he has pit stains

Willie!

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i got an email from obama

about health care reform. well really it's from "David Axelrod" i guess that might be Obama's pen name but anywhos the title of said email was

"This is not a joke"

flaaflel

i made falafel for dinner last night. chris helped. wiley did not. it was super easy, you just add water to the mix, roll up some balls and throw those balls in the oven! i also made the cucumber yogurt sauce as suggested on the box, also easy.

basically, what's better than just reading your way to an easy, breezy dinner?

i did it!

i got to work early every day this week!

here is a review of important events of the day:

6:30 wake up

6:45 look for coffee. realize that the coffee timer didn't work because i didn't turn the coffee maker on.

6:46 sawyer poops.

7:00 on the road! super foggy.

7:15 loving the new wye oak album i stole from wiley. (sorry)

7:28 pull off of 50 and see a lone goose on the ramp.

7:29 realize i am wearing the same underwear as yesterday. (sorry)

7:30 see an old man in the stairwell who is whistling.

7:31 take 10 minutes to figure out how to unlock the door because i'm the first one here!

7:32 do a dance. touch everything in everyone's office. make myself a vodka soda.

7:35: down to business. blogging.

what else will this day bring? stay tuned for more titallating updates.

hey guy

thanks so much for cooking your fish sandwich right outside my door.

seriously, thanks.

it smells really awesome right now and definitely helps me focus and doesn't make me want to throw up and/or die.

unbelievable

the Space Shuttle has boosted more than 3 million pounds of cargo into orbit.

that's so much!

the current mission has 6 people in the crew, each from a different country!

and they are building a porch on the Space Station! i can't wait to sit on it and drink tea and watch the neighbors fight!

say what you will

but i love country music. sorry to ruin your reputation wiley as someone with good taste in people or whatever, but i do. i had an alright day, the last few hours of work were pretty painful, i get in my car, there's traffic, wahwahwah poor me, and then some dumb song comes on about how life is great, i have a roof over my head and shoes on my feet blah blah and just like that i felt better. so, basically, i'm a loser but country music makes me happy. except that now i'm home and the house is dirty and the dog is being an asshole and its a million degrees out and i have to take him on a walk and i am all alone.
the end.

i lost my ipod

i'm pretty sure i put it on the roof of my car before driving to baltimore last night. it's really distressing me and i don't know why. well, obviously, i really liked it and it was really great and nice and now i can't listen to music at work. or in my car. or ever.

but who cares? it's just a stupid object. it didn't love me or care about me. maybe this is a sign that i should get rid of all my worldy belongings and go walk barefoot in the desert for a while.

the thing is, i don't have any belongings. i have like 5 pairs of old flip-flops and a whole lot of men's undershirts.

basically this leads us to the following questions:

1)who are we?
2)why are we here?
3)when do i get to go to the moon?
4)when is lunch?
5)wye oak is really good.
6)so is budweiser.

in conclusion, i can't wait to see rattler on saturday!

friday!

hating

i hate people that can't spell.

i hate people that don't want to be "tagged" in photos.
i still know it's you, moron.

i hate this milkyway flavored coffee that i'm drinking.

i hate wiley.

jk
jk
jk

what are the odds

today as we all know marks the 40th anniversary of man on the moon.

today, as probably only i know, also marks the day that i have to start writing about the history of space exploration for work. aka i'm writing about today, today.

what

are

the

odds

?

pizza head forever

the guy who stole from my co-worker (pizza head) (chris yarrison) got arrested. he even confessed and everything.
to be honest, i'm kind of dissapointed.

just listening to chango leon at work

getting up early

is awesome!!!

i have been at work for two hours already!!!

also, when you get up early you can't think very clearly, and also your muscles and body don't really work very well

Party chris

nbd

i don't ever put anything in the trash in my office because even if there is one little piece of dust, the lady will change the whole trashbag and i just can't handle waste like that. so i take whatever to the trash in the hall. nbd.

i also will sometimes leave paper towels and plates and whatnot on my desk because i can reuse them if i need to. nbd. i think i learned this from wiley, because he always has little tissue stockpiles in hidden areas around the house. nbd.

apparently, she (the lady) doesn't approve of my "green" lifestyle, because i was just looking for a paper plate to heat up my pizza, and there Definitely was one on my desk yesterday, but it is Gone! so are my paper towels! so are all my little treasure friends!

am i gross? is this weird? i am seriously mad.

but now the song from Once is stuck in my head.

curse you adam "once" fligsten

yuck

i painted my nails last night and when i was done i looked at the bottle and the color is called "shrimply divine"



then i puked



also sorry adam but wiley and i watched "Once" the other night and i didn't like it



then i puked

it's really too bad

when you look at the clock and it says 3:45 and then you get back to your desk and it's only 3 and you realize that you weren't looking at a clock before, you were looking at the time left on the microwave.

http://thingsiboughtthatilove.com/

things that bum me out:

-target dishwasher soap is really shitty. sometimes you have to buy brand name. cascade really gets the job done. fact. undeniable.

-girls have to use so much toilet paper. guys never have to use it. ever.

things that i'm happy about:

well really its just one thing- i bought a new razor (venus embrace ooh la la) and it is great. really gets the job done.

Guilty

get smart

fyi there is a part of a rocket called a miniskirt.

cigarettes are deadly

this is not a joke. i almost died on the way to work this morning, big lebowski style, i thought it would be cool/a nice start to my day if i smoked one little harmless little ciggypooWRONG. dead wrong. first, it got stuck to my lips so when i tried to pull it away my finger got burned. really badly! then of course the cherry fell off into my lap and started burning my crotch. i'm serious! then i geniusly brushed the burning embers down off the seat and into my shoe. i got to work frazzled as shit, smelling like shit and covered in ashes. basically i don't recommend this to anyone.

how was your date ben?

yesterday

1) i took sawyer to the dog park and dog beach, and there were other people there! what were they doing at the dog park in the middle of the day on a wednesday?

2) i read "women" by bukowski, it's good.

3) i made this for dinner:


three bean chili with pesto.
it's easy.

cook some carrots, and whatever else you want. the recipe used onion, but we all know those aren't allowed in my house. i added a pepper from the GARDEN (yes, you can call me farmer anne.) add a can of diced tomatoes + 2 cups water, bring to a boil. add a can each of kidney beans, garbanzos and cannelini beans. stir that shit up. the pesto part is really up to you, the recipe said to mix garlic, oil and parsley with some salt and pepper and throw it on top. i skipped the garlic (wiley is a vampire) and used cilantro instead. the end.

4) we washed the dog. i had to go buy dog shampoo and they had really sick flavors like green apple. who wants their dog to smell like a jolly rancher?

no joke, i only did 4 things yesterday.

i can't go

but you should go!

Warner Bros. Studios Presents "Bugs Bunny On Broadway" at Merriweather Saturday, July 11, 2009 - 8:30 p.m

WTOP Radio and Merriweather Post Pavilion want you and your family to experience the world's most celebrated Warner Bros. classic Looney Tunes on the big screen - accompanied by the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra.

butter

nurse kevin, my friend and yours, told me the other day that eating butter for breakfast makes you less hungry. it sticks to your insides. gross, i thought, but since then i have dutifully been eating at least one serving of butter each morning, sometimes more. and he is really on to something, because lately i have only had 1 pizza every day, instead of my normal amount.

the thing is that when you eat so much butter all the time so early in the morning, then you get to work and you have butter on your skirt.

: (

also, this: