clowns in space

"While the trip to the space station is costing him $35 million, Mr. Laliberte said it is the biggest adventure he has ever embarked on...Before the rocket lifted off, the tycoon from Quebec City said he was determined to play the clown as much as possible while in zero gravity. “I promise I will plant as much as possible nose clowns in space,” he said. “So it will be not only brilliant stars but colourful stars in the future."...Determined to truly be the world's first space clown, Mr. Laliberte packed a stash of red clown noses to hand out to those at the space station. Before the launch he also confessed that he plans to tickle his fellow astronauts in their sleep."

must be nice, billionaire clown man. let's move to canada. obviously that is where the good things happen.

badlands

can't wait to camp in you!!

can't wait to be old

up until recently, getting old was one of my worst fears. it's scary and sad and i just don't want any part of it. butt, lately, i'm thinking that maybe getting old is where it's at. for example, i saw an ancient woman at the grocery store. she had a shopping cart that she could ride around in, and was really struggling to get her items on the counter. so when she did it successfully, i was really impressed and proud of her. on the one hand, its sad that you lose a lot of abilities when you get old like the ability to pee. or not pee. but at the same time, this lady was wearing her pjs and was super jolly.

which brings me to my next point. today i'm wearing a sweater that's basically like a bathrobe, and shoes that are like slippers. and i've never been happier! old people, i salute you. you've got it figured out- why get dressed when you can just not? why walk when you can ride around on different stuff? why hear when you can be deaf??

Night night

Bday Wiley

what if you found this tape??

COLUMBUS, Ohio -- An Ohio man who videotaped himself forcing his 18-month-old niece to smoke marijuana has been sentenced to 10 years in prison.
Prosecutors say 19-year-old Melvin Blevins of Pataskala was part of a marijuana-trafficking ring. A video recording showed him giving the toddler marijuana in a pipe while his girlfriend held her.
Blevins was sentenced Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Columbus. He pleaded guilty in March to various drug and weapons charges, including distribution of marijuana to a person younger than 21.
The girlfriend, 16-year-old Angel Dailey, pleaded guilty to child endangering and was sentenced in May to at least six months in juvenile detention.
Authorities learned of the videotape after a Columbus pawn shop found it in a camcorder.

to: ben

happy birthday!

love: annie

why are people

so mean?? i couldn't figure out how to do something on my ipod, so i was looking it up and found the answer on some nerd forum and the people are just getting in fights! on the internet! about literally nothing!

one guy said it was "hardly rocket science" and another person told someone to stop whining so much. i hate it. it makes me ANGRY.

also i broke this today at work:



it's not really my fault, i think it was probably made in the 1800s but nonetheless- find a job wiley, i think i'm probably fired.

you'll be glad to know

the first fleming family acapella trio rehearsal gathering dinner went off without a hitch! corn-zucchini pancakes with fresh salsa were served, laughs were shared, fun was had by all (well, let's be safe and say by most). basically i just love to sing and i think singing is really fun and funny. when this thing takes off, you can say you read it here first!

here we are having a snack after our grueling practice! (i'm the one on the right) johnnie and elizabeth- you know who you are.



something else that you may find exciting is that there is paper made from elephant shit.

caught

found photos of wiley with another woman!!!!!!

Pizza Blog

iPod blog

I'm at the dermatologist. The office is realllly nice they have coffee and cookies

and free wifi

XTC is so damn good

try to deny it, i dare you

listen to Frivolous Tonight, it will give you a good feeling 100% guaranteed


here it is to make things easier for you you lazy lumpkin i'm looking at you billy

again again

i am such a mess. actually. i just looked down at myself and realized, not only am i unwashed and wearing shabby clothes and flip flops from old navy (!) but every article of clothing on my body is STAINED.

listen to this song. i haven't watched the video so i don't know if it's good or not, but i heard the song in the car this morning and i think it's good.

kilowatt ours

wiley and i watched a movie called kilowatt ours last night for school, which means i watched it while he slept and then i told him about it so that he can get a good grade. jk jk jk i fell asleep but not because it was boring, because i was tired!!

basically, people need to save energy, duh, but what i liked about this movie's presentation of the problem and solutions was that it presents saving energy as an economically sound investment. saving energy saves money. maybe this is really obvious, but i just didn't look at it that way before. in addition, the more energy saved, the less energy needs to be created, which is why it's so important for the environment.

SO my new idea is to target businesses, like my office/building for example, which has got to be spending bazillllllions on stupid shit like people leaving computers on, refrigerators, etc, and so i will get them to pay me to tell them how to save money, and then i will install all the new lightbulbs and things for them, and then its a win-win-win situation. am i right?

amiright?

julie bootdorff

hi julie, i know that i'm a bad friend and i didn't call or even write you on your b day, but so i was wondering if for your bday i could buy myself a pair of over-the-knee boots such as these:



i love you

health concern

so i got the first of 3 shots of the HPV vaccine, and thought i was being all responsible and adult-like and whatnot. that was about a month ago and my arm still reallyyy hurts where i got the shot. i did a little research, and basically, people have died and had strokes and various serious health problems after getting this vaccine.

on the one hand, its a case of correlation v. causation. just because you get a blood clot after being given the vaccine does not mean that it had any relation to your blood clot whatsoever.

secondly, the vaccine IS proven to prevent cervical cancer.

for me the question becomes, do i want to maybe die now or maybe die later? i would like to not die before wiley's b-day, because the new season of desperate housewives starts that day!! but in all seriousness, do i finish the shots? do i not finish? do i give up on life?? i feel like i'm probably pretty healthy and safe but if any of you reading this are NURSES or DOCTORS, please weigh in.

thank you.

big moves

new bike
new ipod
new outlook

ate pasta in bed
finished my book
drank white wine sangria
carpooled to work!

currently: listening to smallhands, actually getting scared, pearlygates was definitely sung by ghosts/recorded in a haunted house.

things i like about fall: drinking tea. camping.

feast your eyes

wiley laufman ladies and gentleman!

fat boy shit

i just ate 102% of my daily cholesterol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
450 calories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



why didn't anyone tell me that these stouffer's are 3 servings?? do you want me to die?


on the plus side, there is no plus side.

what i love about A. F.

not me you idiot, the other A. F.

uh oh nap town

sorry to be a debbie downer, but these are facts.

In 2005, Anne Arundel County had the fourth highest number of known violent crimes (3,358) and the fifth highest number of reported property crimes (17,141) among Maryland counties.

Continued urban and suburban development in Anne Arundel County has caused it to slip from fourth to twelfth in Air Quality as measured by the Environmental Protection Agency.

The county’s 509,000 residents have a median income that ranks them as the fifth
richest in the state. Despite its above average median income, Anne Arundel County lags behind the nation, and behind the Maryland average, in its level of charitable giving.

in conclusion, annapolis is an unsafe, filthy and selfish town.

i think i'm going to volunteer somewhere, i just read a sad article about homeless schoolchildren and it made me feel like a shit. maybe i'll combine this new cause with my goal of getting famous and become a celebrity through my admirable nobility and generosity.

billy

you are a king.

help me

wiley's bday is coming up and i don't know what to get him. think of something good, then tell me what it is.

wiley no peeking!!

more on bugs

this is turning into a bugblog- or, a blug.

A newly-discovered spider has been named after rock star David Bowie, in an effort to raise awareness about the number of arachnid species threatened with extinction. The Heteropoda davidbowie is distinguished by its large size and yellow hair, and is only found in parts of Malaysia.



i have no real concept of how huge this thing is, but it is basically #1 terrifying nightmare and i wish it would go extinct.


when danny is famous, there will be a bug named "d goats"

f u colbie caillat

colbie caillat is my age, her dad co-produced two fleetwood mac albums, she "recalls being around the likes of Mick Fleetwood and John McVie as a child"

basically i'm over this whole not being famous thing

let's get famous

who wants to get famous??

i hate my brother mark

so it has recently come to my attention that my brother mark reads my blog.

hi mark!

when we were hiking this weekend we saw a really crazy looking bug, it had black and white stripes and about 1,000 legs. mark knows a lot about bugs because he is part tarantula, some call him the bug man.

like all insects, mark is very dangerous.

don't be fooled by his eyeglasses, he has excellent vision.


don't be fooled by his beard, he moves very quickly.


don't be fooled by his gray hair and ancient, overweight appearance, he is very spry.

get a real blog mark, you vegetarian

wiley in ocean city

i hate when he wears that hat

at least you're not Gary Moody

"I told Moody that I did not think that his trips into the outhouse pits had anything to do with dropping things by accident, and asked Moody if I was right," Fors wrote in the affidavit. "Moody said 'yes.' "

i love this song

i love my new shoes

just ordered a pair of these

get some
*seriously- promo code ShareTOMS gets you $5 off
plus every pair sold = a pair for someone in need!!

i love my boss

she wants to "win a spider competition."

"right now i am looking at 20-50 grand daddy longlegs, 7,000 spider egg nests, and 4 foot webs with wolf spiders in them. i wish i could win some sort of spider award."

what's a spider award?

i love ranch dressing

it's good on EVERYTHING

carrots

french fries

grilled cheese

cream cheese

cottage cheese

cheese cake

you get the idea

but the point is

the question is

who will bring me this ranch fountain at work please

i am not kidding